MidTnShooter got me to thinking when he named his Para Ord race gun "Ethel." If I picked names for my pistols, what would they be? And are they male or female? While guns, like Navy ships, are usually referred to as "she" I decided that three of my pistols oughta be males. Top row, M357-A1 and Llama IX-C; middle row, Walther P22 .22LR and Glock 29 10mm; bottom row, pair of 9s, Kel-Tec PF-9 and S&W 669. Here's my choices, arranged not by concealed-carry ability, but mostly by frame size, caliber, "nastiness" and of course, personal preference, as in "If I'm in a gun fight, which one do I want in my hand first?" Llama IX-C, Full-size 1911 Hi-Cap .45 ACP, 5.125" barrel: "Big Bertha" in honor of WWI and WWII's largest artillery, the German 420mm/16.5" howitzer, 'cause whatever she hits will usually fall with one shot, but if not, there's 13 more a heartbeat away from where that one came from. Steyr M357-A1, Compact 357 Sig, 4" barrel: "Thor" 'cause he hits like the Hammer of, and those hit by him usually fall like they're "struck by lightning" according to Masaad Ayoob, but if not, he packs 15 more rounds of Thor's lightning bolts (with my Wulf-special mags). "Baby" Glock 29, Subcompact 10mm, 3.76" barrel: "Taz" in honor of "The Tasmanian Devil" of Bugs Bunny fame, small but extremely powerful and very nasty (actually even nastier than "Thor" but ranked right after him due to personal preference and 10+1 rds. vs. 15+1 rds.). S&W 669, Subcompact 9mm, 3.5" barrel: "Sam (last name Smith)" in honor of Yosemite Sam, small but nasty and will shoot you full of 15+1 holes in a heartbeat. Kel-Tec PF-9, 9mm pocket pistol, 3" barrel: "Cleopatra" 'cause she stings like an asp 7+1 times and will usually kill! Walther P-22, .22 cal. auto, 3.4" barrel: "Stinger" 'cause she'll sting anywhere she hits 13+1 times and kill in the right spot. And then there's my two main long guns for self-defense, one rifle and one shotgun, one female and one male. Ithaca 37 12 ga. Pump shotgun, modified 18.5" barrel: "Katy" as in "Katy bar the door" with 5 rounds of buck inside and 6 more on the stock, and also in honor of my late mother, Katie. Remington 742 30'06 auto rifle with Bushnell 3x9 'scope and 10-rd. mags: "Alex" in honor of Alexander Graham Bell, who enabled us to "reach out and touch someone" a long way off, in this case, 300+ yards with considerable accuracy.