English vs German

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by MrApathy, Aug 5, 2007.

  1. MrApathy

    MrApathy Active Member

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    Subject: European English
    The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
    be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
    the other possibility.

    As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
    spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in
    plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

    In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
    the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of
    "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
    There will be growing publik enthusiasm i n the sekond year when the
    troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
    fotograf 20% shorter.

    In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
    reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

    Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
    ben a deterent to akurate speling.

    Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
    disgrasful and it should go away.

    By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
    "z" and "w" with "v".

    During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"
    and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

    Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu unders
    tand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

    Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
    forst plas.

    If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl
     
  2. amonkey

    amonkey New Member

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    God, that was good :!:
     

  3. babj615

    babj615 Premium Member

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    ROTFLMAO!!!!!

    Excellent Post!!!!
     
  4. mugdava

    mugdava Premium Member

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    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
    _______
    mugdava
     
  5. RiceCakes

    RiceCakes Guest

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    hehehehe. I've seen that used with Arnold and California also. Someone should make an English-Spanish one for Cali.
     
  6. SELFDEFENSE

    SELFDEFENSE Premium Member

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    Der bureaucracy schnitzels at work.